You are sitting in front of the television with a bowl of crunchy, salty popcorn on your lap. As your eyes are fixed on the screen, your hand dips in and out of the bowl and up to your mouth. Munch and crunch, over and over. In 15 minutes, your fingers close around a few loose kernels. How did more than a hundred fluffy kernels disappear so quickly? The answer, unconscious eating.
When Food Becomes a Coping Mechanism
For some, food and certain activities go hand in hand, or hand in buttery cardboard container such as while ensconced in a movie theater. There is sensual pleasure baked into eating, and when blended with time with family and friends, doing things you enjoy, it enhances the experience. Consider the ads prior to the start of the film with dancing hot dogs, candy boxes, popcorn containers and soda cups. They are designed to encourage movie-goers to visit the snack bar and suggest what they could eat.
Let’s do an experiment. Take a moment to do a check-in with yourself. How are you feeling emotionally? The answer may depend on what you were doing right before you were reading this article. If you were listening to a news report about war, the election, the environment, or violence that occurs randomly, chances are, you are in the grip of anxiety and helplessness. If you were speaking with someone you love who makes you laugh, you may have been smiling beforehand. If you could have any type of food in front of you now, what would it be? Are you hungry? If you are not, would it be easier for you to forgo food if you had the second experience than if you had the first experience?
Can you tell the difference between bodily or physical hunger, and emotional hunger?
Physical– the desire to eat comes on gradually, it can be fulfilled with nearly any type of food to meet your needs, your ‘shut off valve,’ that tells you that you are full, is functioning. You may even be able to stop eating before you feel full. Emotional-the desire to eat is urgent and like other addictions, is meant to ‘fill a hole in the soul.’ It is suggestible. If you are watching a commercial for a particular type of food, your mind says, “Hmmm, I could eat that,” even if you had just finished a meal. There might be a craving for sweet, salty, or crunchy foods.
The Emotions Hiding Behind the Hunger
If you tune into your bodily sensations when you feel physically hungry and then when you know you are physically satiated, yet you feel emotional hunger, you can notice that the sensations associated with physical hunger are actually different than the sensations associated with emotional hunger. The sensations might even occur in different parts of your body.
Ask yourself this question: If I didn’t eat right now, what feelings or emotional states might I have that I really don’t want to address? Chances are, they include sadness, fear, nervousness, full blown anxiety, anger, worry, frustration, or loneliness. Take a few minutes to recognize and acknowledge what you are experiencing with this question.
Some of your eating patterns are a throwback to the family in which you grew up and the messages with which food was seasoned. If your ingrained memories are of a tumultuous nature, then when you find yourself as an adult, eating with family, you may stuff down your stirred up feelings so as not to re-experience them. When leaving the table, both your stomach and your mind may be filled to overflowing.
Healthier Ways to Feed Yourself
Ways to address emotional eating:
- Become aware of your emotions at random times throughout the day.
- Ask yourself if your body needs energy or if you are repressing emotions by eating if your body is not hungry.
- Remind yourself that you will be able to handle whatever emotions arise if you don’t attempt to eat instead of addressing them.
- Take a walk, dance, practice yoga, journal, call a trusted friend.
- Find a therapist who is equipped to help you explore your feelings.
- Attend OA- Overeaters Anonymous.
- Make conscious choices about what you eat and when you eat it.
- Select healthier options to high calorie, high sugar snacks, such as fruit and raw veggies.
- Learn to walk away from the table before you are full.
- Set boundaries with family and friends who equate food with love.
- Feed your mind and heart with nourishing thoughts.
If you’re ready to develop a healthier relationship with food and emotions, eating disorder counseling can provide the support and tools you need to feel more in control and at peace.