A cult or a spiritual community are two very different types of groups, but they share certain similarities and can overlap. Both are groups that follow a certain set of principles and beliefs. Their members believe very strongly in the message and purpose of the group.
Spiritual communities are typically understood to be more positive and have a goal of self-improvement and the greater good. Cults, on the other hand, often carry a more negatively charged reputation for being abnormal, extreme, and manipulative. Spiritual communities can become cults over time.
When you’re a practicing member in either of these types of groups, making the decision to walk away can be a complicated and disorienting experience. You’re leaving behind a lifestyle and connections that violated your trust.
As this unfolds, you may be asking yourself many questions. Questions about your judgment, your self-worth, and your future. Learning how to rebuild your trust can take some time, effort and patience.
Understand the Manipulation or Betrayal
These types of communities can employ any number of techniques and tactics to bring their members together. In some instances, it is rituals and community building. Other times it is fear, isolation, and mind control.
To put this chapter behind you, you need to understand what type of manipulation was used and break free from its influence.
Processing Your Emotions
Leaving behind a community or cult can leave you with complex baggage and emotions. You are facing a significant loss, which requires its own grieving process. Depending on what occurred during your time with the group, you may be holding onto some trauma as well.
It’s important to process any feelings you’re experiencing. Acknowledge what occurred and accept it for what it was. Give yourself grace in this process. You likely joined this community for a hopeful purpose, so practice self-compassion as you transition away from it.
Rebuilding Your Identity
As you move through the negative aspects, you’ll start to find some rewarding pieces along the way. Rebuilding your identity can be a challenge, but it’s a gratifying one.
You’ve been told how to conduct your day-to-day life, what to wear, what to say, and how to feel. Now that you’re starting fresh, you get to decide who you are as a person. You can start the trust rebuilding process with yourself.
You get to make your own decisions and learn to trust in your instincts. There will be many opportunities for trial and error, as you explore the consequences of making your own choices, and slowly building more confidence.
Repairing Trust in Others
Getting involved in the outside world with your new sense of freedom can be quite an experience. It’s important to be cautious as you form new relationships and engage in social situations with others.
Find settings where there are like-minded people or groups that participate in activities you enjoy doing. Building a good support system is a great way to repair broken trust. You’ll have these people to lean on in times of need.
Exploring Support Options
A good place to start with building a support system is your loved ones. Repair relationships from which you may have distanced yourself during your time with the cult or community. Reconnect with family and friends.
You also have the option of attending a support group. Connecting with other individuals who have either been in this type of situation can be exceptionally supportive. They bring an added perspective with a shared understanding to the mix. Check out the support group I will be starting very soon.
Working with a therapist who specializes in this type of situation can offer guidance while you navigate this next chapter.
If you’ve recently left a cult or spiritual community and are feeling overwhelmed in your current status, I’m here to help. Together we can work on rebuilding your trust and improving your outlook. Contact me to learn more about cult recovery counseling.