Kindness begets kindness. And if the seed of kindness is within us, then we must nurture it by paying attention to cues from others as well as ourselves.

We communicate in so many ways, verbally and non-verbally, face-to-face and virtually.  Words of course are important, but so are the silences. Be more observant of the non-verbal cues your recipient provides as they might be louder than the words they actually use. For example, let us say you are in a conversation with a loved one and you find yourself feeling unheard, not understood. Do you continue to talk, or perhaps begin to shout as if volume will help the understanding? Or do you allow an opportunity for your loved one to respond? Do you try to convince or change the other person?

What happens if you become silent? When silence is used as a weapon, to close down communication, it can be harmful. However when we use active silence, a listening silence, a present silence, we may notice non-verbal cues or body language that may have been missed before, like facial expression, gestures, or posture.

When we get quiet and listen, rather than react or take control, we can better understand the other person’s truth rather than the piece of the puzzle we have observed. We are no longer operating from the filter that is our own part of the story but are better able to take in the whole.

May we extend the same privilege to others of being themselves and shine in their own right. Let us seek to understand before seeking to be understood. And let compassion brew in our hearts.