The modern dictionary defines “kindness” as being good, benevolent, humane, and gentle. Now consider the Buddhist definition: loving benevolence. Let’s delve deeper; what is benevolence? Goodwill, charity, a desire to do good.
Now that we have a context, it is easy to see that kindness is not simply an act or a behavior, but instead is a way of being. When we are kind, we are aware of our actions toward others and toward ourselves. We consider the consequences of our thoughts and actions.
There are many aspect of kindness, many ways of expressing it.
Forgiveness- Acceptance
- Compassion
- Empathy
- Honesty
- Service
Our favorite teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, in his article “5 Practices for Nurturing Happiness” says that “When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less. Not only that, but we’re also able to go further and transform our suffering into understanding, compassion, and joy for ourselves and for others.”
This philosophy teaches that we learn kindness by being aware of its opposite. Darkness only exists because of the absence of light. Kindness only exists because of suffering.
When we are kind in nature, we realize that the suffering of others is also our own. Being mindful and aware in the present moment that there is kindness, and then expressing it, can alleviate suffering. In doing so we generate feelings of love and understanding. As Thich says, “In order for happiness to be extended and renewed, you have to learn how to feed your happiness.”
Become aware of whether, and how often, your own thoughts and actions are kind. This self-awareness requires a level of honesty (truth). How often is that kindness directed toward others yet not yourself? Learn to judge less, and love more, and you will find that suffering transmutes into kindness for all life.