As we sit in the aftermath of the most consequential election of many of our lifetimes, there are some who are celebrating the outcome and some mourning the loss of their candidate(s), as if a beloved family member or friend had died. Each side has the right to their emotional reactions even as the other side may not be able to comprehend the rationale behind their choice of candidate. It may seem a daunting process to get into the mind of a voter who chose differently than you, and you may not even want to. That’s okay.
What might be called for is a comforting blanket for the moment. Those who had worked diligently for a particular result and were stunned that it didn’t materialize express a myriad of emotions. Go to any social media page, and it will be abundantly clear. Anger, fear, despondency, depression. Just as Pandora’s Box was empty, what was left at the bottom could be hope.
Last month there was a blog post called How Can We Overcome the Polarization That Is Tearing The World Apart? It explored the massive chasm between people, as reflected in their voting choices. Prior to the election, at least 80% of my therapy clients were experiencing election anxiety, not knowing what the outcome would be. The numbers have remained high in the days post the election, as myriad clients expressed fear for their safety and that of loved ones.
I encourage you to be present with your feelings, no matter what they are. Sob, if necessary, stay under the covers a little longer, recalibrate your nervous system by taking deep breaths, spend time outdoors, soak up the sun, literally grounding yourself by hugging a tree. If you have a spiritual practice, use it to tap into a connection with something greater than this moment in time. That might include prayer, meditation, chanting, drumming, burning sage, lighting candles, attending services in a spiritual community that feels welcoming to you, either online or in person. One word of caution- don’t do a “spiritual bypass”-moving directly toward a ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ mindset. What you don’t feel, you can’t heal.
Be with kindred spirits as you grieve in community. Do some soul searching as you ask yourself what you can do to keep on keeping on.
The reality is, the future has not been written. We need to remind ourselves that we are here now, in the present moment. Although it is natural to have catastrophizing thoughts, if we remain tethered to them, they weaken us.
If your chosen presidential candidate was elected, be compassionate toward those who are grieving. Imagine how you might feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
Other tips include volunteering in your community, engaging in creative endeavors (art, writing, dance, and music), and staying involved in political or activist groups.Recognize that humans are resilient. There have been numerous traumatic events in history that are evidence of that. We will somehow get through this together and fix our nation’s broken heart.