John Welwood, a pioneer in the field of transpersonal psychology, died last month. A clinical psychologist, teacher, author and lifelong student of Tibetan Buddhist, he worked tirelessly to integrate Western mental health practice with Eastern spiritual wisdom. His writings, and especially the groundbreaking book Toward a Psychology of Awakening, were an essential part of my training as a psychotherapist.
Among his many insights, Welwood recognized a common psychological trap faced by some individuals pursuing a spiritual path.
Put simply, the goal of spirituality is the transcending of the ego (the false identification with one’s conditioning, emotions, thoughts) to realize the deeper Self, which is beyond the personality and is, in effect, impersonal (or transpersonal). Although the ego is an illusion (in the absolute sense) it has a powerful reality (in the relative sense). And so all of us are faced with the challenges of psychological growth with all its struggles and problems.
In his years working with spiritually-oriented clients, Welwood noticed an inclination to avoid or minimize these life challenges. He called this tendency “spiritual bypassing,” a term he coined to “describe the use of spiritual ideas and practices to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks in the name of enlightenment.”
The avoidance of personal issues, such as low self-esteem, social isolation and past trauma, is based on the faulty assumption that spiritual attainment will wipe out all our human problems. The truth is problems don’t go away even as we grow spiritually. True spirituality accepts “what is” and that includes the recognition that we are not perfect beings, that we have a “shadow” side and that we may need help dealing with emotional difficulties.
Do you consider yourself a spiritual seeker? Here are some signs of spiritual bypassing:
- Not dealing with practical matters; living in a “spiritual” realm much of the time.
- Always seeing the positive and ignoring the negative.
- Being self-righteous about your spirituality; being judgmental about those who don’t follow your particular path.
- Being inwardly judgmental about your own imperfections, i.e. feeling you should be perfect.
- Being overly detached, especially about emotional matters.
- Being overly optimistic; pretending everything is “perfect.”
- Indulging in cognitive dissonance about your spiritual beliefs.
- Having feelings of entitlement and superiority because of your spiritual practice.
Recognizing spiritual bypassing in yourself is certainly not a call to abandon your spiritual practice. But is is a prompt for two things: honesty and compassion. Honesty about your imperfections and your life’s challenges. And compassion for the struggles that you and others face. If you’re seeking a deeper path that embraces both your spirituality and your humanity, spiritual counseling can support your growth with grounded wisdom and care.