Another component of self-love is self-respect – honoring one’s own rhythms.

All of nature has a rhythm. The seasons bring change, hibernation, growth, planting and sprouting. Each of us has a rhythm as well. You experience cycles of quiet and activity, darkness and light, struggle and thriving. And when you experience a challenge, it is important to recognize and respect your own nature.

No one can judge the path of someone else, or the rhythms and cycles of that person. Yet sometimes in our society we have expectations of what it looks like to recover from grief, or illness, or a personal crisis. Everyone’s journey looks different and has different speeds.

We can see this sort of individuality in nature. Trees change color in the autumn, but each is unique in the timing, the color, and the leaf fall. Each seed planted has its own perfect time to sprout.

And such is the way with humans. For example, when dealing with a death in the family, one person may sob uncontrollably for days, and then retreat for months with little social contact. Another may repress their tears, “put on the big boy pants” and work to get over it. Still another may cover their grief with hyperactivity, obsessively cleaning or organizing. None of these behaviors or attitudes is “wrong.” Your healing process is your healing process so don’t get discouraged by your own or someone else’s progress.

Honor your unique rhythms. Refrain from the “get over it” mentality but recognize when you are in a “stuck” pattern. Reach out if you need support.