Self-Judgement and “Should”

Our society demonstrates judgment every day. We judge others’ political opinion, attire and appearance, sexual preference, ethnic background, choice of mate, and so much more. Quick opinions may be formed about people and situations based on nothing more than appearances, and those beliefs are often held in spite of false evidence.

Any time you form an opinion about others or a situation based on incomplete information, you are also judging yourself. How you relate to the world around you reflects how you relate to your inner self, your “soul wisdom.” Snap judgments create separation and polarization from others as well as your true self. They are the result of letting the ego rule, rather than the soul.

acceptanceThe “inner critic” forms a belief based on how the world “should” be, how you and others “should” behave. But what standards exist to measure the “should”? Who created those standards? And most important: judgment does not serve any useful purpose.

A closed mind, one which forms firm opinions like this, creates an internal war: the judge and the rebel. The judge “shoulds” while the rebel resists. The result? Frustration, dissatisfaction, depression, anger. Worse yet, these strong emotions create more internal strife as you try to resist them.

You can learn to catch yourself in a moment of judging yourself or someone else by noticing thoughts like these:

  • She shouldn’t have said that.
  • I should try harder in this job.
  • He should cut his hair.
  • That person is bad because he/she is gay, black, dressed oddly…
  • I am an awful person because I got angry.

Learn to replace them with thoughts like these:

  • I can make a choice in the present moment whether I choose to attend that event.
  • She appears to live as she chooses to live.
  • I do not need to believe that person’s judgment of me. They don’t even know me.
  • I know how to attain peace in this moment by living in soul wisdom.

If you find yourself judging someone else or yourself harshly, consider asking yourself,”Is what I am believing about them–or me–absolutely true”? If you aren’t sure or your answer is no, then drop the judgment.

If you find these exercises difficult, our therapists at Soul Wisdom Therapy are here for you.

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